How A Deadly Diagnosis Gave Me A New Lease On Life And A New Purpose
Photo by Susan M. Sabella ©2010
Hi Everyone, this is Reverend Susan Sabella-Marsh, a.k.a. "Rock N Roll Reverend Sue".
The photo above was taken on June 9th, 2010. The same day I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer and was told I had to undergo a total hysterectomy or I would die within 9 months.
To say I was devastated would be an understatement. To get my mind off of this diagnosis, I had gone grocery shopping with my mom and Niece Barbara. When we got back home and after the groceries were put away, Barbara stepped outside in the back, she called for me to come out and look at the rainbow in the backyard. I ran out with my camera, hoping to catch a rainbow on film, but what I captured in this photo meant so much more to me. Take notice of the dark clouds giving way to the beautiful, multi-colored spectrum of this amazing rainbow and bright white clouds above it with an angelic-looking cloud floating towards the rainbow.
There's your sign...
I know this was God's way of saying "You've got this, I AM watching over you"
I was in awe of this confirmation that I wasn't facing this dreaded illness alone. This was also a new confirmation that I was alive for a reason. At the time I wasn't sure what this reason was but I thought "Hey, if God still wants me here, I know He has a plan for me."
I've always been kind of scattered when it came to what my purpose was.
Most of my life I have suffered in health, wealth and relationships. I didn't understand why.
Soon after the devastating cancer diagnosis, I got back into the Mind-Body-Spirit studies I had left behind years ago. I knew I had to do something different with my life, I just had to do something, well, um... different.
I'll quote Albert Einstein:
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"
With this in mind, I started digging deep within myself, I knew I had to clean house so to speak of my negative self-image, thoughts and perceptions.
In this "Journey Back to Me" I realized that this illness was a wake up call for me to unlearn all the old ways and start with the new ways of thinking positively.
Up until then, I wore the mask of happiness and perfection when inside I felt like I was dying until I couldn't hide it anymore. The poisoned thoughts about myself and this world had surfaced as cancer. According to Louise L. Hay's breakthrough book "You Can Heal Your Life", the emotions that cause cancer are anger and where this anger was placed was my uterus, symbolic of the sexual abuse I endured in a previous relationship.
I knew I had to do "the work" on myself in order to rid myself of this deadly disease. I had to change the way I did everything and start new. I also heard of this energy healer named Starr Fuentes who had a visualization/meditation CD named "Healing The Energies of Cancer".
There was a morning visualization/meditation as well as an evening one. I faithfully did this and after the hysterectomy was done, my doctor said he was perplexed as when my uterus was biopsied, it turned out to only have pre-cancerous cells.
Below is a link to an excellent blog post about the emotional causes of cancer and the meaning behind it's placement in different organs:
Mind over matter... It was that simple... I was amazed that I was able to heal my own body, mind and spirit of the anger issues. I'm still a work in progress but at least the worst was over.
One day it hit me that I needed to share this and many other experiences first in blogs, then books then music. In 2011 when I was an ordained minister, I wanted to share these experiences with sermons I would do from time to time.
It suddenly became crystal clear what my purpose was- simply to share that what you think, say and do comes right back to you. I call this "The Cosmic Boomerang".
A great way to reprogram yourself of negativity is something I learned from Andy Dooley, inspirational speaker. He has a "Transition Statement" where he says
"I AM beginning to allow myself to become (insert what you want).
By the way, Andy has a lot of transitional tools on his website http://www.andydooley.com/
He has a great sense of humor and you'll see many of his funny, educational videos on his youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/AndyDooleyTV guaranteed to make you smile and learn how to overcome negativity and reprogram the old, outdated negative beliefs into much better ones.
Here's a few things that helped me along the way:
Keeping my eye on the prize no matter what happened to me.
Feeling my true feelings and then letting them go through forgiveness.
Using creative responsibility, meaning channeling all my thoughts and feelings into positive projects like writing, music and art.
Keeping a positive mental attitude.
Hope, faith and belief that everything happens FOR you and NOT against you
to change your life's course for the better.
Praying (petitioning) God for help
Meditating to receive God's Answers
Using powerful Violet Flame Decrees for transmuting the negatives in your life to positive transformation.
Decrees are the same thing as affirmations.
(click the link below)
Learning about mind, body and spirit energy healing such as reiki
and learning about our 7 power centers (Chakras)
Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) helped me release old traumas from my body and psyche.
Expecting great things to happen every day.
Being mindful of thoughts, feelings and emotions as they do become things.
Being grateful.
Later I will go more in depth on how to turn things around in more blogs to come, but for now, this is my "real-life journey back to me story" and I am sticking to it.
It makes me happy and fulfilled when I help people and plan on being around a long time to keep doing just that and having fun on the way.
This was just the beginning of my transitions to transformation. I always loved Rock N Roll and heard so many inspiring, mainstream songs on the radio that helped me along the way since I was a kid. I thought to myself
"Why isn't there a radio show that focuses on positive, topical inspirational rock?"
I decided I could share my experiences and the really cool, positive inspirational rock songs I grew up with as well as new, inspirational songs.
In August of 2012 I decided to create "Transitions to Transformation Radio Show™" and I have interviewed many amazing healers and friends that gave great advice and had a lot of fun doing the show, too. The many transitions we go through in life such as divorce, illness, loss of job, end of a relationship is only a learning experience to get us to a better place. It may not seem like it at the time, but everything happens for a reason.
I will close out this blogpost with a quote from a song called "The Light" by Disturbed that came out in 2016:
"Sometimes darkness can show you the light". This is transitions to transformation in motion.
May you go through your transitions to transformation with grace and ease.
Much Love,
Rock N Roll Reverend Sue
