Can I Get An Amen?

As someone who wants to help people,

being a Reverend is by far the best thing I have ever done with my life.

Truth be told, being a Reverend is also very challenging at times.

Sometimes the very people I try to help along the way betray both

my husband Rev. Dave and myself.

It's part of the human condition. Fear fuels betrayal.

Fear makes people do things they normally wouldn't do.

The good news is Rev. Dave and I have learned through this process of betrayal

to keep our boundaries intact.

Sometimes people view clergy as an easy target to get money, use as a taxi service or someone to put all their responsibilities on to.

Rev. Dave and I recently had all these experiences with just one person we were trying to help.

Rev. Dave was the bank and I was the taxi service with all the resources.

We had found out this person did not tell us the truth about a lot of things and it really left us disheartened, though truthfully, we were not surprised.

This person was very young, very scared and very much in "survival mode" and did what she could to provide for herself and her entire family whom we found out were all meth addicts.

She was their sole provider since she was a kid.

Rev. Dave and I did the best we could to encourage her to make the right choices to no avail.

Life is all about choices, and we gave this young lady a lot of resources that we hope would help her move on to a better life.

We just have to let go and let God take care of the rest.

You can lead a horse to water, but you certainly can't make it drink.

It is tough to see someone suffer but Rev. Dave and I realized that this situation is out of our control but we didn't want to feel hurt or used anymore, either.

This brings to mind "The Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Niebhur:

I felt like sharing all of this because I don't think a lot of people know what being a Reverend is like.

We give a lot of our time and efforts to help others out of the goodness of our hearts and sometimes people (out of fear) forget this and mistake kindness for weakness.

What I have found out through this process is I can't help people who won't help themselves and to keep my boundaries in place.

I also found out I could still keep my heart open to help others as long as I protect myself.

Lesson learned...

We dedicate this blogpost to all of our reverend friends as well as our other good-hearted friends who help others and sometimes get the short end of the stick.

Don't lose heart. Just set up some healthy boundaries for it.

Could we get an Amen?

Much Love,

Rev. Sue and Rev. Dave